Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
