Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
