i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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