Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
