And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
a search helicopter?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
