This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
