Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
