is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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