okay pat passed out under dana's car
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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