dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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