haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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