Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
