But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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