If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
