I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
