Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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