So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
