Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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