so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
