He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
