Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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