During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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