brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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