you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
third nipple confirmed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
