She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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