Just cropdusted the office
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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