i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
