my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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