its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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