I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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