.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
