i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
