Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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