Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think i got beer on your cat.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize