I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
