don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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