All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
