Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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