haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
