At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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