A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
is it fun? or sober?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
