1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I smell stomach acid.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
