I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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