he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
