you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
