just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
