Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This is not my ceiling
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
