your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
