Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
