it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
