i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
