You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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