I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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